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What we get Wrong About Codependency in Disabled Relationships.

There is a rightful conversation in the mainstream right now, prompted by lockdown move-ins and partnership breakdowns, on the question of codependency. Ness Cooper, Sexologist and Relationship Coach, explains “An unhealthy co-dependent relationship is where individuals become psychologically dependent on their partner to the extent that mutual benefits, shared satisfaction and consent are out of the equation”. 

Similarly, fellow relationship expert Gurpreet Singh defines two clear roles in codependent partnerships, the ‘giver and the ‘taker. Cooper goes on to say that codependent romantic relationships remove individual autonomy, and cause individual identities to be lost.

However, matters are more complicated for disabled folx with non-disabled partners. I rely on my partner for food, help with personal hygiene and to keep our home clean. So is our relationship codependent?