Category: Pain Chronicles

Pain Chronicles: The Real Reason why Disabled People Exercise Less

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 20 January 2023
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: The Real Reason why Disabled People Exercise Less

Pain Chronicles is a monthly(-ish) column from Caroline McDonagh-Darwin about coming to terms with living with a chronic illness. It will include funny stories and brutal honesty, with some thrown-in chats with her mum Shaz, and other friends too, along the way.

One of the main guarantees of disabled life on the internet is being asked “Have you tried yoga?” I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been asked that question.

In fact, if I had a pound for every time I’d been asked that I’d have too much money for the DWP to give me the disability benefits they don’t give me anyway.

Tags ableism, exercise

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Pain Chronicles: Despite it all, we Deserve to Have the Christmas we Choose

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 20 December 2022
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: Despite it all, we Deserve to Have the Christmas we Choose

Trigger warning: This piece contains the sudden death of grandparents, covid death and discussion of bereavement. Please take care.

If you live in the Northern hemisphere, Christmas comes in the middle of winter. The long nights, the cold weather, the having to leave the house while it’s still dark outside.

Pain and fatigue often get worse in the cold (as well as the warm, which is why I much prefer Autumn!), and worsening depression and anxiety rear their heads in the form of seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

I’ve a rather personal bone to pick with winter as well. In 2017, on Christmas Eve, and entirely unexpectedly, my nan died.

Tags bereavement, christmas

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Pain Chronicles: Ethical Fashion is Harder When You’re Disabled

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 29 September 2022
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: Ethical Fashion is Harder When You’re Disabled

Note – where possible, I’m including ethical comparisons of clothing brands from goodonyou.eco.

Last night I ate spag bol while wearing a white vest top, you can imagine what happened next. Only one of my £3, fast-fashion, I have about 4 of them, vest tops though.

As it spins now in the washing machine, I am not all that invested in if the stain remover will work because it’ll be relegated to a PJ top if necessary.

In recent years, I’ve moved away from fast fashion. I haven’t bought a vest top that costs less £8 for a long time, because I know that £3 is not adequately paying the person who stitched it. I obviously haven’t gotten rid of the fast fashion stuff with wear still in them, but I’m trying not to buy any more. Trying. Because my disabilities mean I run into issues.

Tags ethical fashion, fast fashion

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“Fully accessible” is a myth, we need to be more specific to help everybody

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 14 July 2022
3 Comments on “Fully accessible” is a myth, we need to be more specific to help everybody

As I’m writing this, I’ve just got back from a weekend in Sheffield. It was my 30th birthday and my mum Shaz treated me. But it did illustrate the difficulties of travelling for two people who have sometimes conflicting access needs, and how “fully accessible” can be a myth.

Tags accessibility

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Pain Chronicles: Two Generations of Fibromyalgia

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 16 March 2022
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: Two Generations of Fibromyalgia

Not long after I graduated from university, I was at my GP looking for an answer for what was causing my pain. It had started five years or so earlier, just in my knees at the time, but it had become increasingly more widespread.

The young GP looked at my history, asked me some questions, and ordered some blood tests, just to be certain. Then he asked me a very simple question: “What do you know about fibromyalgia?”

Tags diagnosis, fibromyalgia, generations

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Pain Chronicles: What a Massive Pain

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 8 January 2022
2 Comments on Pain Chronicles: What a Massive Pain

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you may be aware that I broke my ankle in November. I think I may have mentioned it once or twice. With a bit of luck, by the time you’re reading this, I’ll be pretty much back to “normal”.

I know I’m on my way back to “normal” because my regular pain is starting to come back to me. My usual fibromyalgia problem areas are my shoulders, my lower back and hips, as well as overall fatigue. Of course, other parts of my body tend to get worried they’re missing out and jump in on the action, so you never really can tell what’ll hurt, but they’re the primary problem areas. The other night, my lower back hurt more in bed than my foot did.

Tags broken bones, Co-morbidity, fibromyalgia, pain

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Pain Chronicles: I Discovered I had Vaginismus Because of my First Cervical Smear

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 1 November 2021
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: I Discovered I had Vaginismus Because of my First Cervical Smear

TW: blood, medical insensitivity, medical procedure (cervical smear). Resources are available at the bottom of this column.

I still have the knickers I wore to my first attempt at a smear test, it’s been 4 years now, and the blood hasn’t ever come out. Despite the guidance saying my risk was low on account of my HPV vaccine and my never having had sex, I still wanted that peace of mind.

Tags cervical smear, vaginismus

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Pain Chronicles: Being Fat Isn’t a Disability, but Society’s Attitude to it Can be

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 17 September 2021
3 Comments on Pain Chronicles: Being Fat Isn’t a Disability, but Society’s Attitude to it Can be

Pain Chronicles is a monthly(-ish) column from Caroline McDonagh-Darwin about coming to terms with living with a chronic illness. It will include funny stories and brutal honesty, with some thrown in chats with her mum Shaz, and other friends too, along the way.

For her 50th birthday, I took my mum to see Matilda in the Palace Theatre in Manchester. We were all the way up in the heavens – having to pay £2 for the tiny binoculars fancy women have on sticks in films set in the early 20th Century. But we didn’t let that stop us having the time of our lives.

Before booking, I’d scoured the access information on their website (which was, and still is, limited). I knew the lift went to the rear circle and there would be almost no steps for our back row seats. I knew they had a disabled toilet.

What I didn’t have is much information on the seats themselves.

Tags fatphobia, sofie hagen, theatre

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Pain Chronicles: The Additional Cost of Being Disabled

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 26 July 2021
4 Comments on Pain Chronicles: The Additional Cost of Being Disabled

Pain Chronicles is a monthly(-ish) column from Caroline McDonagh-Darwin about coming to terms with living with a chronic illness. It will include funny stories and brutal honesty, with some thrown in chats with her mum Shaz, and other friends too, along the way.

Caroline’s note: I’ve written this month’s column along with my mum, Shaz. You can find my bits in regular type, and hers in bold (because she always is). Hope you enjoy.

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I’ll always remember the doctors’ note I got at university so that I could type in exams rather than handwrite. The doctor mentioned I’d been doing the same in ‘A’ Levels. Inverted commas and all. I can’t quite remember how much it was, I think around the £30 mark. £30 so I could access the same education as my classmates. And disabled students’ allowance may have covered that, but the forms were arduous and I really didn’t have it in me to do it.

Tags additional costs, cost, expenses, expensive, pain chronicles, poverty

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Pain Chronicles: Right Now, I Need the Sunflower

Post author By Caroline McDonagh-Darwin
Post date 6 July 2021
1 Comment on Pain Chronicles: Right Now, I Need the Sunflower

Pain Chronicles is a monthly(-ish) column from Caroline McDonagh-Darwin about coming to terms with living with a chronic illness. It will include funny stories and brutal honesty, with some thrown in chats with her mum Shaz, and other friends too, along the way.

When mask wearing became mandatory in July last year, I was mostly still not leaving the house. We’re a high risk family, and I felt the government were too hasty in unlocking everything.

When I did have to pop to the shops, I’d don a reusable mask (trying to combat waste) and more often than not I’d only just finish my shopping before having to run outside to fresh air to stave off a panic attack. Face shields were slightly better, although they did elicit some funny looks, and there was still an issue with allodynia where the sponge rested on my forehead.

Tags back to normal, covid-19, fibromyalgia, heat intolerance, hidden disability, invisible disability, mask exempt, mask wearing, masks, pain chronicles, sunflower, sunflower scheme