I’ve always been what would have been described as a worrier, this was how things were labelled when I was young as mental health wasn’t discussed. This meant rather than spotting a problem earlier, the worrying grew until 5 years ago things came to a head. I was having a stressful time at work, managing several personal issues and everything got too much. I realised I was panicking about the possibility of panicking. That’s when I finally realised I may need help for my mental health.
TW: This article contains use of an ableist slur
I was 17 when it first happened.
I was in my bedroom when I suddenly lost all control of my body. I could feel my arms, legs and jaw violently convulsing. I could only watch in hopelessness as my body gave way and I collapsed. Still conscious and watching helplessly, I was trapped in my own body and simply had to wait for it to be over.