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Living with Both Physical and Mental Chronic Illnesses Shouldn’t be a Case of “This or That”

Everyone experiences pain in some form at least once in their lives. To me – pain has become an intrinsic part of life as mental anguish blurs into physical throbbing. As a young, seemingly healthy woman, my pain has remained cloaked behind invisibility rooted in the intense emotional pendulum of my borderline personality disorder and the bone-crushing pressure of my thoracic outlet syndrome.

Having first experienced debilitating twinges of my physical disability at the age of 16 and then falling slowly but surely into the void of my mental health illness at age 20, I’ve had a decade to get used to one and six years to come terms with another.

Now, at nearly 26, what I face is less about the pain – both physical and mental- itself, and more about the guilt-ridden burden of feeling like I have to choose between which of my illnesses I allow myself to be vulnerable about. 

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My Antidepressant is not my Demon – it’s What Eradicates Them

TW: Internalised ableism surrounding taking medication, especially antidepressants 


It’s fairly often that I stumble onto anti-medication articles. Especially on social media where journalists are eager to push the notion that women can benefit more from ballet instead of treating their mental illness with the right chemicals that their brain currently lacks to fight off depression and anxiety. 

Currently, the NICE guidance is that medication should only be given to those who are the most “severe”, and that in itself is heartbreaking as you have to reach rock bottom before anyone can help you. 

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Your Platitude Isn’t Helping my Mental Health

Trigger warnings: Suicide. Mental health disbelief. Mention of medication/addiction.

Talking about mental health is important. It’s the first step towards getting help. It helps reduce stigma. It can help you find people who can support your recovery.

But talking to the wrong people can be nothing short of disastrous. People who are dismissive. People who are laissez-faire in the extreme. People who – be they trained professionals, public figures, or strangers on the internet – give awful advice.

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My realisation that the opposite of self-care is self-harm

TW: Self-harm, mentions of being overweight. 

This summer it got really hot. It was about August and we had a proper heatwave. In our land of stiff upper lips and no air conditioning, I would sit on my bed in my birthday suit and try to be still, to not expend any energy. And I developed a rash.