Tag: motherhood

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Stop Questioning Whether I’ll be a Good Mum Because I’m Disabled

A feminine presenting person with long brown hair in a ponytail holding a baby, she has a prosthetic arm

I want to be a mother. It’s a simple premise, isn’t it? I want to hold my own baby in my arms with the man I love by my side and raise that child to be wild and free and curious (and a writer because both of its parents are writers therefore it just has to be that way).

I’m in a serious relationship with a man who shares the same faith as me, we’re planning marriage and we named our future children on our first date. All this should be in reach but I’m forced to question it. Why? Because I’m disabled. 

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Having a Chronic Illness Adds a Whole Other Layer of Mum Guilt

A feminine presenting person bending down on her knees, she's resting her forehead on the forehead of a child in a bobble hat, and is carrying a baby with a bobble hat in a papoose

Being chronically ill is exhausting. Add some children into the mix and some (most) days I feel like I am trying to walk through mud, out of spoons before I’m even out of bed. I make bargains with myself all day long; juggling trying to be a good mum with trying to treat my body kindly and not beat myself up when I’m feeling beat up. 

I find that I am always pushing myself just enough to keep them happy, but not so much that I’m left hobbling about, necking painkillers like smarties and I am always trying to figure out how to reconcile the part of me that buys into empowered feminist narratives around self-love, self-care and taking time to heal, with the part of me that has two small people to keep alive.

Because ultimately my body might need to rest, but they don’t. 

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