all Essays

I’m Still Coming to Terms With how Much MS has Changed me – And That’s Okay

I can’t jump right now. I can’t run, or even walk quickly. I can’t stand on one foot for more than a second or two — longer on a good day and not at all on a bad day. There are days when I can walk 5k no problem and days when climbing up a single flight of stairs feels like summiting Mt. Everest. 

This new body of mine doesn’t work the way I want it to, doesn’t do what I tell it to.

It feels like I’m driving someone else’s car through a snowstorm. The brakes aren’t as sensitive, the dials are in a different place, and I have to pay extra close attention to keep from crashing.